The Legend of Zelda
by Vladimir the Hamster
Summary: AU Link is in love with Zelda, but it's not what you think. Finally back in action!
1. Chapter 1

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA by: Vladimir the Hamster

Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda. What a boring disclaimer.

Author Notes: Ahem... about this story. This is some crazy idea I had in my head for a really long time (3 years, in fact) only it was about a frog. I just adapted the idea into Zelda. It was inspired by a story in a book called Huckaby's Fables, but it was simply telling you why you hear an echo when a frog croaks. I also think you should know that in this story, Link never went on any of his many adventures, and Zelda was just a normal princess, Ganondorf was there, but no one really bothered about him and he wasn't evil...Well, you get the point. And Link doesn't have Navi, either, but Saria is still his best friend, and all the Kokiri are still pretty much the same. And Mido is _really_ mean in this fic. Well, there are worse people out there, but I'm just saying he's meaner than usual.

Happy reading!

* * *

"Link?" said Saria, her eyes wet from the tears she held back.

Link turned around.

"I know you have to go... "she said, "But... we'll always be friends, right?"

Link looked down to his feet.

"Link, I want you to have this ocarina."

Link looked up. "What?" It was her favorite ocarina. He didn't deserve to have it.

"Are you sure?" said Link.

"Yes, this way, we can talk to each other."

"How?"

"With this song."

Saria put the Fairy Ocarina to her lips and played a happy tune. The song was full of magic. She handed the ocarina to Link.

"When you play this song, I will hear you, okay?" Saria explained.

Link didn't look very relieved. "Thank you."

"You're welcome..."

Saria couldn't hold them back anymore. She flung herself hard unto Link's chest and sobbed into his warm tunic. "I can't believe you're actually leaving..."

Link wrapped his arms around his best friend and hugged her tightly.

* * *

Link woke up in his bed. He had that dream again. He wished he could get the memory out of his mind. It was so painful...

"Saria, I really miss you."

It wasn't the fact that he couldn't talk to her. He just wanted to see her face again. That warm smile that always comforted him whenever he was lonely. She was the only one that stood on his side three years ago, when Mido decided to banish him from the forest.

Thinking about that also brought painful memories back to him. Link still lived in the Lost Woods, but it just wasn't the same all by himself. Many times he wanted to visit Saria in the Sacred Forest Meadow, but Mido had forbidden her to go there so the two would be separated. Mido could really be nasty when he wanted to.

Link sighed. He rolled over in his bed.

"Might as well get something to eat," he mumbled to himself.

Link grabbed his sword and shield before going outside his house. There were many monsters in the Lost Woods, and he had to protect himself. He walked through the labyrinth that would've befuddled niost people, but he knew it too well to get lost. He picked some berries from one of the trees, and sat down to eat them.

Munch Munch 

"Another day all by myself.. How depressing."

While eating, Link watched a few fairies fly around and listened to the birds singing merrily in the trees.

Then a Mad Deku Scrub came out and shot Deku Nuts at him. With lightning fast reflexes, Link pulled out his shield and bounced the Deku Nut back at it, ran up to it, and slashed it with his sword.

"Honestly, can't they let a guy eat?"

The leaves rustled overhead. Link sat back down and finished the rest of his berry breakfast. It wasn't very filling, but that was all he had.

"Maybe I shouldn't be a vegetarian anymore," he joked. "Maybe I'll actually be full for once."

He strapped on his sword and shield.

"Nah, I'm okay eating nothing but fruit..."

His stomach growled. Link just laughed. He went back to his treehouse and fished out the Fairy Ocarina from his bag. Sitting against the wall, he decided to talk to Saria, and played Saria's Song. The merry tune echoed through the forest and a few birds flew through the window to listen.

Link, it's me. What do you want to talk about?

Anything, I guess. I just ate breakfast, what about you?

Me too, I had a peach and guess what? Another peach.

Sound appetizing.

Ha ha—

Saria suddenly broke off, but their telepathic connection didn't break.

No, get off, Mido! I want to talk to Link! It's not like that! Why do you hate him so much—

The connection was broken.

Saria? Link called through his mind. No answer.

"Oh, no..."

For several days, Link kept trying to contact his best friend, and each time there was no response.

'Why? Why did she have to leave? Of all things cruel in this world. You can take away anything, just not her...'

Link became heartbroken. He wept. He wept loudly, into the sheets of his bed. Saria was his princess... and now she was gone.

TBC

* * *

So... just in case you're wondering, this will not be LinkxSaria. In fact, it will be... Well, I wouldn't want to spoil it, would I? I'm so evil. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Actually, it's in the summary, but like I said, it's not what you think. Hmm... I'm not as evil as I thought. Rats. Oh, well just keep smiling. I wonder when my face will crack?

Please Review! XD. Or else... well... I'll still write this anyway, but at least let me know people are reading this. It helps keep me motivated, and then I'll write this faster!


	2. Chapter 2

THREE REVIEWS!!! I'm so excited about them. I never expected any… THANKS YOU GUYS!!! (sniffle)

clan man: Link isn't wimpy!!! How would you feel if you lost your best friend? More funny? um... not sure about that. sorry.

Zaios: Thank you. Glad you like it.

Tarachi Kaishaku: It's PG-13 not because there will be any sex scenes or anything, but the fact that I am not sure that who Link is going to be in love with is exactly appropriate. As for who it is…that is a secret for now.

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA by: Vladimir the Hamster

Disclaimer: 'tis a fanfic. What do you think?

I actually wrote this chapter a while ago, but um... lots of homework, and I'm working on my Halloween costume. I'm gonna be Link!

* * *

Chapter II 

Link had sobbed into the night, crying himself to sleep. As he slept, he had a strange dream. It wasn't a very exciting dream. No action took place, no crazy adventures, no odd things that dreams usually had. Instead, all there was was black.

Inside this darkness was a strange feeling. Link couldn't describe it in words. It was a horrible cold thing, penetrating to the bone. It consumed him slowly. And there was a soft noise in the background…calling him…calling him…

"OUCH!!!"

A large beak pecked Link right on his forehead. Link looked up. Staring back in the darkness was a large owl with gleaming yellow eyes. Occasionally, he would turn his head upside down.

Link tried to shoo him away, but the owl stubbornly stayed.

"Link, I have to tell you something."

Link fell over in shock. Gasping for breath, he whispered, "You talk?"

"Of course! I am a friend of the Great Deku Tree. My name is Kaepora Gaebora. I have come with grave news. I'm sorry to say, but your friend, Saria, is… dead."

The animals in the forest were unnaturally quiet as the sun rose. Even the wind had stopped blowing. Everything was perfectly still and silent.

Link stared at the wall of his treehouse. He hadn't been anywhere else for a long time. He too, was still and quiet. The pain of his best friend's death lingered in his heart.

He thought of all those memories with Saria. How the other Kokiri made fun of him for being fairy-less. Mr. No-fairy, they called him. And Saria had always been on his side. His only true friend. And now, with her gone, he truly was alone. He sat in silence once more…

Nothing broke the silence of the forest this day. Except…

_Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum…_

Link's ears caught the sound of the beat.

Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum… 

Link shifted slowly on the floor. What was that?

Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum… 

The beat was very stimulating. As Link became more and more anxious, the beating became faster and faster.

"Oh…"

Link smiled. The beating came from his heart. As he relaxed, so did the beating of the heart. Soon, it was very comforting, making his pain that much more bearable.

Link listened to his heart beat. For the entire day, he did nothing else. He didn't even eat, though his stomach grumbled in discontent.

Eventually, it was nighttime again, and still Link did not move. He listened to his heartbeat until he fell asleep.

TBC

* * *

Okay, what do you think? Do you like the idea so far? 

I think it should be really obvious who Link going to be in love with by now, even though it's not official yet. I did say this was a crazy idea. And as for why I said Link is in love with Zelda… that will have to wait.

Anyway, don't you think it's strange how Kaepora Gaebora turns his head upside down? I think it's some kind of bird thing, because my bird used to do that all the time. He doesn't any more, but it makes you wonder…

Please keep reviewing! I appreciate them very much.


	3. Chapter 3

The Legend of Zelda by Vladimir the Hamster

Disclaimer: Do I really have to? I mean, I had one in the other chapters.

Reviews and all that stuff...

FanFictionFantom: No, Link's not in love with the owl, though that is an interesting idea. Yes, I am very very sick... Sort of.

Nessa-Cuthalian: I feel sorry for your friend... The only person I knew that died was my fish... I love my fish! ToT

Koume: Link'll... Hey, that is funny!

A/N Sorry about not updating for so long even though I was hoping to update at least once every week, but I was very busy doing a lot of stuff. I barely even slept. And when I finally got around to typing this chapter, my computer froze, and now when I turn it on, it's just a black screen and it makes funny sounds. I still have my dad's computer at least...

I also noticed that the last chapter was rather short... But hey, nothing wrong with short chapters, right? It got its job done, and I'm happy with it.

I think I should stop ranting and get on with the fic...

* * *

Chapter III 

As the sun rose in the sky once again, Link decided not to move. What was the point of waking up if he was just going to be miserable all day? He didn't care that he was hungry, or that he would starve to death eventually... Link felt that there was no point in living anymore, not without anyone.

Staring at the ceiling yet again, Link decided he would just lay on the floor until he died. Then at least he would see Saria again in the Sacred Realm. He thought that maybe it would just be easier to commit suicide, but no, he didn't want to move at all.

From outside, a little bird watched Link sadly. A precious life was lost, only to rot away in misery. A single silver tear fell from its eye, an it left.

Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum... 

'Oh, it's you,' thought Link.

Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum... 

'What do you want?'

Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum... 

'Well, I suppose you're better then no one. Let's talk, shall we?'

Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum... 

'Don't you ever say anything else?'

Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum... 

'Guess not. Well, what should we talk about, hm?'

Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum... 

This time, Link's heart beat even faster than usual. For reasons unknown, Link seemed to be able to understand what his heart was saying. Maybe listening to it all day yesterday made him more in tune with his inner organs. Maybe it was because Link was lonely, and needed someone to talk to. Or maybe Link had simply snapped.

'Oh, are you not happy because you don't have a name? Well, what do you want to be called?'

Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum. 

'Zelda? What kind of name is that?'

The heart, or "Zelda," as it seemed to want to be called, replied with an irregular pattern of thumps. Link listened carefully to his heartbeat, trying to decipher the story told through many thumps.

'A princess?' thought Link after his heart had finished speaking. 'Is that who Zelda is? Lives in a castle, does she? I wonder what a castle is. A big stone building, you say? Hmm... doesn't sound very homely. So, ever since the first Princess Zelda was put to sleep by some wizard person, all princesses had to be called Zelda? Now, that's interesting.'

Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum...

'From now on, your name will be Zelda!'

And so, Link had named his heart after a princess. How odd. Why after a princess? What significance does his action hold?

Link was still on the floor, but he paid no attention to staring at the ceiling this time. This time, he still was listening to his heart called Zelda, thinking anything he wanted to it to keep his mind off his best friend's death.

But he couldn't. Images of Saria were all that he could think of, even with a new found friend.

'Saria... She was the best friend I ever had. She was so smart, and knew so much. She taught me all the places in the Lost Woods, so that I would never get lost. And I have to thank her for that. I never did, but... And when I was sick, she made me the best soup in the world. If you ever tasted it, you would know, too.

'She always stood by me, even when the others teased me. She even stood up against Mido, and he was the biggest and meanest Kokiri in the whole forest, no that ever lived.'

Here, Link listened to Zelda again, who had started thumping louder.

'Really? So he liked Saria, but Saria liked me... So that's why?'

For hours and hours Link just thought to Zelda, neither moving nor caring how much dust was piling on him. Eventually, it was dark, and Link thought himself to sleep. (again,)

TBC

* * *

Wow, Link sleeps a lot! I think that even though he never sleeps in the game, he is actually a big sleepyhead, because in the beginning of a lot of games, he is always sleeping. And that he probably only never sleeps in the game for gameplay issues or something. (Wow, aren't I brilliant?) 

So, then... Please review! And if you think I'm crazy, that is because I am. And if you don't like my idea, it's okay. I just need to get it out of my system.


	4. Chapter 4

The Legend of Zelda by Vladimir the Hamster

Hello, everybody! Have a Merry Christmas to you all! I'm planning a Christmas special, but I'm not sure if I'll ever get to writing it. I actually loathed writing until... Last year.But I'll try anyway.

Yet again, thanks for the reviews.

PsychoSpiff01: I know! I don't know what came over me... Saria is my favorite character, too! What was I thinking? Actually, that was an essential part to the story. I couldn't think of how else to make Link go crazy, without having a really stupid reason like Link is insane because he is insane, for no reason at all, all of a sudden, for no apparent reason.

oOoTiffany13oOo: Well, short chapters are sometimes better than long ones. (just making excuses for myself here) And as for Zelda... You'll have to find out.

BatNeko: Really? This is good? I'm just writing whatever comes into my head spontaneously without really thinking... Really! I'm usually too preoccupied with 1985! erm... I wasn't around in 1985. Come to think of it, I never saw any of the 80's...Bah! It's just a song anyway.

Koume: Yes, talking to your heart is quite original. Hmm... I wonder what will happen if I do it too? nah... Too crazy even for me to do.

Ri2: uh... Link is insane! His heart isn't really talking back, he just thinks it is. Got it?

Okay, sorry to keep you away from reading the story any longer, but does anyone know why the Harry Potter movie is considered a Christmas movie by abc family? These people are nuts I tell you. Even more than I am.

* * *

Chapter IV 

Sounds of snoring could be heard in the little treehouse in the middle of the Lost Woods. Inside this little tree house was a sleeping boy who was responsible for the sound of snoring. Inside the head of the boy was a dream... But it was even weirder than the dreams that usually occur.

This dream included a person he had never seen before in his life. It could happen to anyone, I'm sure, but this time, the person was not made from anything that could have been in Link's imagination. For one thing, he had never seen the triforce before. Another, he had never seen so much pink on one thing in his life. Also, Link had never seen a dress in his life, at least not one decorated so heavily with the triforce that he had never seen before, or the... castle?

Sure, he knew that a castle was a big stone building, but he had never seen one before. And the one he imagined was a walls made of piled up rocks, not these neatly sculpted rocks arranged in an organized manner... And he certainly knew it was big, but not this big, and he never knew there was a window with pictures of Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Yoshi... and all those people in it. Or a garden, which were not like the gardens he had seen before, which were wild and free to grow any way they wanted, but like everything else in this "castle," also neat and organized.

And now. Back to the person in the garden in the castle. As Link looked at the girl in the window, he heard his heart beating loudly from his anxiousness. Then the girl turned around, golden hair flowing behind her. Her wide blue eyes warmly looked into Link's as she spoke words to calm his anxiety.

But Link's was not calmed. In fact, his heartbeat didn't get any quieter.

Then it hit him.

The girl. She was...his heart. Zelda. The princess...

What was going on? Well, might as well listen to her words, right?

"Don't worry, Link. I just wanted to tell you what the real Princess Zelda looks like."

"What on earth is going on?" Link screamed. Even though he had been talking to his heart for two days now, Link's more rational side still existed... sort of.

"Don't worry, I said," Zelda um... thumped? How do you describe a heartbeat speaks?

"Um... Nice garden," said Link, trying to make conversation. "Don't really like it much, though. Too organized. I like it when flowers just grow wherever they want..."

Zelda smiled. "But that's the beauty of it. The flowers will grow just the way you want it too, so whatever you want, it will look just like that."

"But that's...that's flower slavery, that is!" Link protested. "Flowers were meant to be free, like people. Sure we can take care of them, but it's like taking care of a child. You love them, and guide them, but they are their own person. Same with flowers!"

"Who are you to speak of raising children? You are Kokiri. Kokiri do not have parents!" said "Zelda".

Link spluttered some sounds out of his mouth, not really saying anything. True, he was a Kokiri... But...

A memory came to Link. A woman was riding a horse across Hyrule field. The sky was dark and stormy and lightning clashed in the sky. And in the woman's arms was a...

Link lost his train of thought. He had the strangest feeling that he did have a mother-and a father too. But how?

"Link?" said Zelda.

"Uh... nothing..."

"Sorry."

"Why?"

"For going against your beliefs offlowers."

"It's alright... We all believe in different things, right?"

"Yeah..."

Link and Zelda paused... both at a loss of words.

"So...uh"

The two started laughing. For no apparant reason. Who knows why? They just did.

And Link woke up.

"Whoa... what kind of dream was that?" he said to himself as he got up.

And as he turned around, Link saw a figure dressed in a pink dress with a triforce on it, staring right at him.

TBC

* * *

Whoa... that wasn't supposed to happen... So much for mypsychotic ideaabout a frog that I came up with in about 4th grade... I don't even like Zelink. (And watch as all Zelda shippers kill me right now.) Well, I don't mind it at all, and sometimes I really like it. I just don't that every Link should marry every Zelda in every game, because if there is a timeline... they eventually would pretty much be marrying their own family members. and that's... well it depends on your culture, I guess... BUT THAT'S JUST NASTY!!! okay, there. I said it. 

THERE IS AN EXPLANATION FOR THE FIGURE IN THE PINK DRESS! I SWEAR!!!  
(please excuse the caps lock...)

Remember. In this fic, Link is absolutely insane.

Ihope...

Hmm... I really seem to love those three dots. forgot what they were called...

Please review! Thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

The Legend of Zelda: by Vladimir the Hamster

NOTE I rewrote this chapter.sort of. Because people complained. Ah, fan service, for the little fans I have... It was meant to be confusing, but I kinda went overboard, and um... well, mostly the same thing happens... but I changed the beginning a whole lot, and the middle, and just read it! Please? oh yeah, reviews for this chapter before I rewrote it:

Maddaboutjew: Link was supposed to be hallucinating. I hallucinated for no reason once. I was calmly sitting on my bed, when I saw ants everywhere.I totally freaked, and was screaming for my life. I seriously thought they were climbing over me, eating at my skin... and yes, most of the events in this story are based on real life events that happened to me. Nothing ever happens to me, so I think my mind is making stuff up to keep me entertained.

Nessa-Cuthalian: I've really got nothing to say to you. No offense meant. I just don't know what to say.

* * *

Anyway, reviews:  
oOoDancingQueenoOo: Um... I haven't really decided what to do with Zelda yet. I'll just write this chapter and see what happens. Yep, I'm pretty much clueless except for the ending and the beginning. So all I've got is a basic direction, and I'll just see what happens. 

Koume: Thanks for liking the flower thingy. la la la... frolicing through field of flowers... Why doesn't that ever happen in real life?

FanFictionFantom: Good point. But still... I don't think Harry Potter is a christmas movie.

maddaaboutjew: Thanks for the information about the ... I always wanted to know what those things were called.

On with the fic!

* * *

Chapter V 

"Zelda?" Link said, absolutely perplexed.

"Link?"

"I thought you were a dream."

"I am a dream."

Link stared. "So, was I dreaming before or am I dreaming now, or was did I dream and then dream that I woke op from said dream, and um... arrgh!!"

"I suppose you could think of it that way." Zelda said.

Link looked curiously at Zelda. Might as well talk to her, even if she was a dream. He'd have something to do. Besides, might as well be insane, just for fun.

But then, his stomach growled tremendously from not eating for about four days, or so.

Zelda giggled. "Hey, that was loud! I'll come with you, and we'll get something to eat."

"Good, I'm starving."

"But don't eat too much. You might overeat and kill yourself. People had died like that before."

"Don't worry. You're here. I won't die on you," said Link.

Link and Zelda climbed down the stairs.

'Stairs? When did I have stairs?' Link thought. It had always been a ladder before.

And as they walked into the kitchen... wait, that wasn't right either. But Link saw the kitchen being a kitchen, and some cooks were cooking in it.

'Now, why would Zelda go to the kitchen for food if she was the princess. Doesn't she get royal room service or something?' Link continued to ponder. As he walked down what seemed to be an empty path, but then collided headfirst into a tree.

"Owowowowowow!!!"

"Link, you okay?" said Zelda.

"Where did that tree come from?" Link wondered. As he looked up, he saw not just that one tree, but the whole forest. "At least I'm back home. I'm going crazy. So, Zelda, why don't we get something to eat, about time too."

But Zelda never answered, not even the weird amplified heartbeat, which essentially, was all that "Zelda" was anyway. How depressing.

'So, um... Now what?'

Link was confused anyway. 'Might as well go look for him, I mean, she, I mean her... Oh, my heart. Wait, that means she's always with me. So, there's basically no point to look for Zelda.'

But, since Link was hungry, he went out farther into the Lost Woods, to find his favorite berry tree. And then, as Link was on the way there, trying to ignore the growling and stabbing pains of his hungry stomach, under a small beam of light, standing on top of a tree trunk, playing the ocarina, was...

"Saria!" Link cried. "Oh my Goddesses! It's you! I thought you were dead!"

"I'm not Saria," she said. "She really isdead!"

"What? Dead? That can't be, you're right here!"

"No I'm not, because I'm not Saria! I'm Skull Kid!" said Skull Kid.

"But you're playing your song. No one else knows that song except you and your closest friends!" Link shouted.

"And I'm one of Saria's closest friends, not Saria herself!"

And Link stared at "Saria." "How can you not be Saria? You have green hair, and you're playing the song on your ocarina, which you made yourself! How could you not be Saria?"

And Link started to cry.

Skull Kid looked confused. Then he came up with an idea.

"I'm Saria, I'm just joking with you."

And Link looked up and said, "You're not Saria! You can't be. She doesn't joke around about that kind of stuff! You're an imposter!"

Link ran off into the forest, without noticing where he was or where he was going. He didn't care that he didn't eat anything yet. Eventually, he couldn't run anymore, and he simply fell over and blacked out.

TBC

* * *

So, um... hopefully that was better than the last chapter, but I have the biggest case of writer's block right now. That, and I'm starting to work on my other fanfic, The Second War, which I actually started way back two years ago, and simply never finished, and have been rewriting over, and over, and over, and over, and over, again. And guess what? I'm rewriting it again! (hence the lack of progress...) 

Oh, what the hell, it's just a filler, anyway... heh, at least I try.

So, please review anyway, and See ya till next chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

The Legend of Zelda: by Vladimir the Hamster

Reviews: See Chapter 5

For some reason, I have this crazy idea that this is chapter 8. Bleh... need sleep. Anyway, happy reading! (and review please)

* * *

Chapter VI

And then the heartbeat came back.

"Leave me alone."

_Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum_

"Go away. You're making me crazy."

_Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum_

"Why won't you go AWAY?"

_Because I don't want to, and if I do you'll die._

"Good point. Why am I even talking to you?"

_Because you have nothing better to do._

"How about eating?"

_But then you won't spend time with me._

"How nice of you. Please go away."

_Fine. Be dead. See if I care._

"No! Stay!"

_That's more like it._

"I hate you."

_No you don't._

"I don't hate you. Happy?"

_No._

"I... love you?"

_starts beating really fast, really loudly._

"um..."

_Do you really? Oh, you love me, you really really love me!_

"Oh boy. What have I gotten myself into..."

_You used to like to talk to me, I don't think you love me at all._

"But you're my heart. That's just sick, like marrying yourself, or something. Eww."

_So, what's wrong with that?_

"...Nothing..."

_Fine. Go back to sleep._

"Wait, I don't want to sleep."

_But you are sleeping_

"You're confusing me."

_I don't care._

Link got up and decided that he would try to get rid of "Zelda." She was creepy. But how? If he ripped her out of his body, he'd die. Besides, ripping anything out of your body would make you die.

Then Link came up with a solution. He'd do the thing he was trying to do in the first place. Eat. Now there was an idea.

Link tried to find his way back to his favorite fruit tree, but he had run so far before that he had no idea where he was.

"Oh cruel life, why must you be so cruel?" he said.

_Because life is "cruel" hence the name "cruel life."_

"I didn't ask you anything."

_That's nice of you._

"Ha ha."

Link tried to block his heart's abnormal beating the best he could, and found another tree with some delicious looking fruit.

"I sure hope it's not poisonous."

_I think it is._

"When where you all sarcastic and stuff. Saria told me that princesses were well mannered and stuff."

_But technically I'm not really a princess._

"Oh yeah, you're my demented heart that's thinking on it's own. That's so comforting."

_Don't you want to eat it? You want to get rid of me, don't you?_

"Of course I do."

_So eat it. It looks good enough._

"Fine. I will."

And Link ate the fruit. It wasn't poisonous. He ate until he was moderately full, not until he felt completely satisfied, because since he hadn't eaten in such a long time, Link figured it wasn't good to eat too much so he wouldn't be in danger of eating himself to death.

After Link finished eating, he sat down underneath the tree, and listened with all his might for "Zelda." She didn't answer, not even an incomprehensible normal heartbeat... Well, Link put his hand to his chest, and she was beating, but not in the weird way.

"Finally, I'm normal again. Now to find my way back home..."

TBC

* * *

Okay, you people. I hope you like this chapter, even though most of it was conversation. But I like writing conversations.

I just realized something. You know how I refer to Link's heart as a "she?" Well, does that mean Link is a hermophrodite because his heart is female? But then again, a heart is an organ, and it's not an organ that have to do with... erm... reproducing, so hearts don't have genders...

Oh well. Please excuse how my story doesn't exactly make sense. I don't care. I like it. End of story... I mean, not the end of the story. I mean, you know what I mean! Erm... Case closed. There I go.

Review please!


	7. Chapter 7

The Legend of Zelda: by Vladimir the Hamster

Reviews and good stuff! I'm so happy there are people still reading even now!

Doodle-Pen: Don't worry, Link is sane now, remember? Stories tend to have a mind of their own and not go the way you want them to, so something really unusually may just be happening.

FanFictionFantom: This story is only insane because I'm insane. ;)

Egads! (smacks myself for using a word like egads) It's chapter seven already! unless I've seriously miscalculated somewhere.

Yet another boring chapter by me... Read it anyway!

* * *

Chapter VII 

As Link was walking back home, he was lost. But being male, he wasn't about to admit that. Men are the same everywhere. Race doesn't matter. But the thing is, his head was clear enough to know that he was lost. That doesn't mean he'll admit to being lost.

Several hours later, he was still wandering around the woods.

'No wonder they call these forests the "Lost Woods." ' Link thought. He looked up at the sky, hoping there would be a sign and a big arrow saying: "LINK'S HOUSE THIS WAY" in big bold letters. No such luck.

"Alright, I admit it! I'm lost!" Link shouted into the sky. Nothing. Nada. No result whatsoever.

Grumbling, Link continued trudging on. And then, a light. He saw Skullkid playing his flute. A memory jolted in the back of Link's mind. Though, for something that seemed to stand out, it was really fuzzy. Link supposed that it happened during the time that he was "indisposed."

Then he remembered the time he yelled at Skull Kid when he tried to help him feel better by at least pretending to be Saria.

Saria! Link realized that he had nearly forgotten about her!

"Saria. I'm so sorry. I almost forgot about you. Forgive me."

"The pain of death passes on much quicker than one would think."

Link looked up, though this time not at the sky. He saw the owl, what's his name... Kaepora.

"Hello... Where you watching me this whole time?"

"Yes," the owl replied. "I haven't left your side since I told you that Saria had died. I must admit, your behavior really was quite entertaining."

Link flushed. "You mean, you've been here the whole time? Why didn't you give me a pointer on where my house was or something?"

"I know men and their ways. They do not ask for directions," said Kaepora sagely.

"What about when I admitted to being lost, huh? What then?" Link started yelling, the owl getting on his nerves. "Yeah? And what about how I was acting? Where you watching, having a good laugh while I was indisposed, and you didn't help at all? Why not? Maybe I wouldn't have started talking to my freakin' heart, or started having hallucinations of castles, or actually have eaten something!"

Kaepora Gaebora was remarkably calm and composed. "I'm only a simple owl. What can I do?"

"Plenty," Link snapped. "You're a friend of the Great Deku Tree. Besides, _owls don't talk_. Which means you're not just an owl. You're someone special. I don't even know if you really are an owl at all!"

Kaepora Gaebora nodded. "You're right. I'm not just an owl. I'm a reincarnated sage, and I could've done something, if you didn't drop and give up, or that's what I thought. But talking to you heart... Honestly, I haven't laughed that hard for such a long time... I've seen some major breakdowns from people when they experience a death of a loved one, but _that_ I had never seen."

Link stared, processing the information in his head very slowly. (Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery slowly) And then, quite suddenly, he roared, "You're just like the goddamned Kokiri! You could help, but you don't, because you don't care about me enough to. Just because I'm different, so what? So what if I don't have a fairy, or am aging, or... or... You all are alike, discriminating against me! Why do you think I broke down so when Saria died? She was the only one, the _only_ one who had _ever_ cared about me. Enough to talk to me, or be my friend, and she even said goodbye to me when I was banished, and even gave me her ocarina! Everyone else, they would say hi, but never be my friend. I was always chosen last when we played games, if I was chosen at all! And Mido and his gang. They were the worst. The others at least didn't bother me much, but them. It was like their job to torture me, like there was nothing else in the world that mattered to them as long as they can see me suffer! And you know what? They can all burn in hell as far as I'm concerned!"

With that, Link bolted and ran.

"Link... Link!" Kaepora Gaebora called.

* * *

Link somehow managed to find his house. He stormed up the ladder and grabbed all his important stuff: his extra hats, underwear, a collection of pictures that he and Saria had drawn with burnt sticks on wood when they were little, and his ocarina. Saria's Fairy Ocarina. He put it into his mouth, held it with his hands, and began to play her song. The playful notes drifted through the air. Then he putthe ocarinainto his bag.

He also stuffed himself with food for a few minutes.

Link had made his decision. It was obvious the forest wasn't for him. He walked to the edge of theLost Woods.Another step and he would leave his home... Possibly forever.

Link shuddered at the thought. Despite how much he hated his home, that's what it had always been for him. Despite all the horrible memories with Mido and his gang... There had been many good memories as well...

He and Saria always had fun together. Good ol' Saria. She was the wisest and also one of the most popular Kokiri. Saria could've been friends with any of the Kokiri, but she always stood by his side, despite constant pressure to shun him like everyone else.Saria was the reason Link enjoyed his life. But now she was dead.

"Times change. People leave. It's time to move on."

Link took the final step. He had left one world, entered another. Link had a new chance at life. Filled with adrenaline, he ran out into the field.

TBC

* * *

It's not over yet! See the TBC? I still have lots to write about!

Keep the reviews coming in please! Thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

The Legend of Zelda: by Vladimir the Hamster

Reviews! La la... I never get tired of them. (who doesn't)

Doodle-Pen: Eh... I"m trying with the plot! Longer chapters I'm trying for too! but sometimes I can't help it. I write and the chapter is done, and I look at it, and it's like... Wow that's short. But remember, Quantity does not equal Quality. Even though that's so cliche... I have a plot. It's buried deep within the confines of my head, waiting for a chance to be typed up.

FanFictionFantom: Do I have you thinking? GASP!

Koume: Well, if it's keeping you reading, then go ahead and be clueless! People Reading equals More Reviews equals Me Happy equals Me Write More! XD The equal sign won't save.

Opia-Fire: Thank you very much. I have a new fan! Hopefully... maybe? Eh... no harm in hoping, right?

I had a snow day. And I didn't work on this chapter at all. Why write when you can spend a whole day playing in the snow? XD

I just realized that I haven't done a disclaimer in awhile. Oh well. Go see the ones in the first couple of chapters.

* * *

Chapter VIII 

Link, who was so full of energy exploring a new world just hours before, now lay somewhere in Hyrule Field, dead tired. Meanwhile, the sun was directly overhead, slowly cooking our him to death. A few crows started flying over, waiting for an easy meal. Luckily, Peahats didn't bother anyone unless they were close by, or Link would've been in an even worse state.

"Now I know why Kokiri love their fairies so much," Link gasped after a gulpful of water from his bottle. "I sure could use company right now. NO! No more thinking about Kokiri. I left the forest to start anew. No looking back."

Link saw a wall ahead. He sat in the shade it provided. At least he wouldn't cook in the sun. He closed his eyes, enjoying the small breeze that was blowing.

'How far until a village or something?' Link thought. He still had plenty of food, but he knew it wouldn't last forever. Besides, wandering the vast field wasn't much of a life. It was probably even worse than the one he had before.

After the short break, Link got up and started walking again, singing a happy tune of "I hate walking" which he made up himself to pass the time.

_I hate walking  
I hate walking  
Why is it so hard?  
I hate walking  
I hate walking  
Who thought of it was a tard._

_I hate walking  
__I hate walking  
The road is much too long  
I hate walking  
I hate walking  
I'd rather wear a thong._

_I hate walking  
I hate walking  
It doesn't matter that I'm poor.__  
I hate walking  
I hate walking_  
_My feet always get sore._

And so on...It wasn't exactly what you would the best song in the world, but Link found it was a good song to sing while walking many miles of grass. Either way, he was still very sore in the feet.

"Farore, I pray thee, please have mercy on your humble servant's feet. Bring him to a place with plenty of food and rest. Please? Amen," Link prayed. And for once, it seemed as if the Goddess had heard Link's prayers.

In the distance, Link saw a horse and cart-coming down the road in _his_ direction! Link became very excited and ran up to it. Right in front of it, to be exact. The horse reared to avoid running over the boy in green.

"Whoa!" said the driver. He was a large, round man with a kind face and round nose. His dark hair was long and tied into a short ponytail, though he was bald on top.

Link spoke to him, "Hello, mister-"

"Talon Lon," the man said.

"Mr. Talon Lon. My name is Link. I'm very tired, and would you please take care of me? It's okay if you don't want to, but I've been walking across the field for a very long time, and I'm afraid a few more days and I'll run out of food."

"It's okay. I just finished delivering milk to the castle, anyway, so it's not like I have much left to do. By the way, you can just call me Talon"

"Milk?" Link asked, puzzled.

"Don't tell me you've never heard of the world famous Lon Lon Milk!" exclaimed Talon.

"I've never even heard of milk," Link said sheepishly. "It's my first time out in the world."

"Oh, you must be one of them forest folk. That would explain your odd clothes."

"Mmm..." said Link. He looked at himself. He never thought of his clothes as strange. Probably because that's what everyone he knew wore. But then again, Outsiders thought they were strange. It was strange, thinking of them as "Outsiders." Since he was now outside the forest, wouldn't that make him an Outsider, too? Link had to get used to this different way of thinking.

"Well, what are we just standing around here for," said Talon, "I'll take you to my home! How about that?"

Link nodded weakly, and climbed onto the back of the cart.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

* * *

Lon Lon Ranch. That was what the sign above Talon's home said. Odd name for a home, but then again, everything would seem odd to him. 

"Feel free to explore while I prepare lunch for you, okay?"

Link nodded again, and decided to do as he was told.He wandered over to the back of the ranch. Lots of horses were running there. He walked and started running after the horses, but they were too fast for him. While chasing one of the horses, he accidently ran into another person, a girl. She was about his age, had long red hair, bright blue eyes, and wore a white dress and yellow scarf.

"S-sorry," Link stammered.

The girl looked curiously at Link. "Who are you?" she asked.

"Link."

"Link? My name's Malon. Nice to meet you! Are you a fairy boy from the forest? Yes, I think you are! I've always wanted to meet a fairy boy. I've heard so many stories about them, but everyone tells me that they aren't true. Now I _know _that the stories are true. I can't believe I met a real fairy boy! Oh sorry for getting carried away. I'm just excited, that's all. Do you mind, if I call you 'Fairy Boy' from now on, Link?"

"No." said Link, though truthfully, he did mind. Very much so. The Great Deku Tree had once told the Kokiri that outside of the forest, no one had a fairy to call their own. Since Link didn't have a fairy, he left the forest to join other no-fairy folk. And now, they all expected him to have a fairy, because he was from the forest! Life sucks, and then you die.

"Okay! Let me show you Epona," said Malon said, grabbing Link's wrist. Malon showed Link a chestnut colored filly. "This is Epona. She's my favorite horse, but she doesn't like strangers much. She loves it when I sing, and my mom wrote her favorite song. I call it Epona's Song, because she likes it so much."

Malon started humming a simple song. Her voice was pleasing to the ears. Singing was a talent of hers. Whenever Malon sang, she was lost in her own world. Nothing else would seem to matter. And suddenly, something entered the world, different from anything Malon had ever heard before. A sweet sound of a vessal flute, an ocarina. The notes flowed out of the clay so naturally, it took awhile for her to notice any change.

She turned around. And to her surprise, she saw her fairy boy, playing Epona's Song on the ocarina as if he'd known it for years. But that wasn't the most amazing thing; Epona, who would shy away from any stranger, even Ingo and Talon, was happily cuddlying with Link as if he was herself.

"Looks like Epona really likes you, Fairy Boy!" Malon said, just unsurprised enough to talk.

"Huh?" Link snapped out of his little world. He hadn't even realized that he was playing his Fairy Ocarina. He brought down the instrument from his lips.

"You're pretty good with the ocarina," Malon said. "I guess you played Epona's Song so well that she's decided to like you!"

"Er..."

"Lunch is ready!"

"Looks like it's time for lunch, eh?"

"Eh..."

"Man of a few words?"

"Mmm." Link thought that Malon talked to much. But anyway, the smell of delicious food was starting to overpower Link's nose. Time to do what he came to the ranch for in the first place. Time to eat.

TBC

* * *

I've tried to make this chapter a little longer than usual, but stupid writer's block is in the way. EVIL WRITER'S BLOCK! 

La la... most of the snow melted already! Yesterday there was a whole foot! That's what happens when it snows a lot in 40 degree weather. I didn't even know it was possible. Last year the snow lasted until May there was that much snow. Can you tell I like snow?

Erm... was Link's "I Hate Walking" song too corny?

Review, please! Thank you! bows to reviewers We will meet again! vanishes in a cloud of smoke


	9. Chapter 9

The Legend of Zelda: by Vladimir the Hamster

Hello people!

Doodle-Pen: Plot... just another word of non-pointless story. Okay, I'm hyper, so I'm not making sense.

Koume: Wow, I wasn't even thinking about all those things.

Opia-Fire: Lurk lurk lurk lurk...

Crisis Haylo: Why thank you. And I hope your Power Walking class is no longer boring.

I'm so glad you all like Link's "I Hate Walking" song!

I just realized. If Link thinks Malon talks too much, what'll he do if he ever meets Navi?

Anyway, say hello to my longest chapter yet!

* * *

ChapterIX 

Talon is snoring. He didn't cook.

"I, the hard-working Ingo, should be the owner of this ranch, not that lazy bum Talon!" Ingo told Link.

"I fail to see the relevance of the fact to food," Link said.

"It's because he made me do _all_ the cooking when he said that he would do it! He's lazy."

Malon set the table. "Mr. Ingo, I do agree that he's lazy, but he's still my father."

"Yeah yeah..."

Link, unfamiliar with Hylian's manner of eating was confused about what to do. Malon noticed this, andtold him to sit in the chair for now.

Malon finished setting the table and Ingo served the food. Talon woke up and joined his family and Link for lunch. After giving thanks to the Goddesses, the Lons ate with forks and knives.

Link stared at his food. It was so different from what he ate in the forest. He sniffed it. There was meat in it, but it smelled like the ranch... Like the cuccos that had been wandering around.

"Something wrong?" said Malon.

"Just... I'm a vegetarian," Link said. It was true, but he suspected that the animal he was supposed to eat was raised by the Lons themselves. How could these people eat something they've cared for?

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know that, or else I would've cooked something different for you," said Talon. Ingo looked at him with slanty eyes.

"Ahem, _Ingo_ would've cooked something different for you."

Ingo relaxed.

"It's alright," Link muttered, but picked up the fork and stabbed it into the cucco meat awkwardly.

Suddenly, Link remembered something. It was like this, a family eating together at a table just like he was now. The same woman from the memory Link remembered a while back, riding the horse in the storm, was in it. A man, too, with a weathered face, a mustache, and tangled brown hair tied in a loose ponytail. Link had thought that the memory of the woman on the horse was simply a product of his madness, or something. The mind is a strange thing; sometimes it will make things up. He was a Kokiri, he never lived like this... He was a Kokiri, wasn't he?

Malon looked at Link curiously, but for once, didn't say something.

Link shrugged off the memory. Afraid the taste would be bad, he brought the cucco meat into his mouth slowly, and chewed on it. The flavor seeped out from the meat, drenching his tongue in it's taste. Link's eyes widened slightly. It was good, this meat.

"Like it?" said Malon.

Link nodded, as he ate some more.

* * *

After the meal, Link sat on the fence overlooking the corral, watching the horses graze. 

Link couldn't believe what he had just done. He had eaten a cucco. Kokiri never ate other living creatures, believing them to be sacred. The Great Deku Tree gave life to all creatures: the Kokiri, the birds, the wolfos... even the insects. Only the plants were able to be manipulated for use, and even then, there was a limit.

Yet he had eaten a cucco. And enjoyed it.

He was a very bad Kokiri. Bad! He told himself. He wasn't supposed to harm a sacred creature.

"But I'm not a Kokiri anymore," Link told himself. "I've left the forest. I'm living the life of a Hylian now."

But the voice inside his head told him, 'But you're still Kokiri. Just because you're not in the forest doesn't mean you cease to be one.'

Link came to a relevation. How was it possible that he was outside the forest in the first place? Weren't Kokiri supposed to die a short while after they crossed over the boundaries of the Great Deku Tree's power? And those weird memories... But he was Kokiri. He was Kokiri. He had lived in the forest all his life.

But the nasty voice persisted on, 'You've lived in the forest all your life, true. But were you from it? Tell me that.'

"I have to be from the forest. Hylia cannot survive in the forest. Even if I was brought there from the moment I existed, I still wouldn't be able to live. Outsiders cannot stay in the Lost Woods the same way Kokiri cannot leave it."

'And yet you're here.'

Link sat wondering why he was so special. Why could he survive in both the Lost Woods and the Outside?

Deciding not to ponder the matter anymore, he took out his ocarina.

"What to play, what to play..." he whispered.

Epona trotted up to him, seeing the ocarina in his hands. She looked up at Link, her eyes seemed to say, play me the song I love so much.

"Alright, I'll play for you," Link said. And he played Epona's Song. He was in his own little world. He forgot his troubles. Albeit temporarily, but it was like a little break.

After repeating the song quite a few times, Lnk stopped playing. Epona trotted away, white tail swishing as she went.

And Link went right back to his thoughts.

'Snap out of it,' he told himself. 'I thought I abandoned the Kokiri ways.'

"Old habits are hard to break."

Link recognized the voice. It was the owl! He had followed him! Why?

"You!"

"Yes, me," Kaepora Gaebora said.

"Why? Why? Leave me alone! I don't want to go back, if that's what you're here for. I've got a whole world to explore. And before you ask, I'm just staying here for a little bit before I leave. Is that so much to ask? Huh? Huh? Tell me, or better yet, don't," Link poured out in a frantic surge of words.

"I wasn't going to," the owl said indignantly. "The Great Deku Tree appointed me as your guardian, and I, even after his death, will fulfill my duty. I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't always run away from your problems."

"What's with you and the corny philosophical phrases that... Wait a second, how come all the Kokiri get nice little non-annoying fairies as their guardians and I get a big talking _owl_? It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair!"

Kaepora Gaebora shook his body, first from the head then slowly progressing down to his tail feathers, shaking off any dust that may have collected during the short period of time. He looked out into the sky, where patches of clouds drifted slowly across. He knew something Link didn't, and just didn't want to tell him.

"What?" Link said.

"Nothing, it is odd, don't you think," Kaepora said slowly, "Why are you the only one watched by an owl, when all others have fairies?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Link asked, impatient.

"And why can you leave the forest while others cannot?"

"I know that already! Tell me something I don't know!"

"There is something different about you..."

"Yes, yes..." Link shook his head, eyes (or perhaps ears) hungry for the owl's words. He might actually find something out.

"And I think..."

Link almost wet his pants...

"That I shall tell you when the time is right," Kaepora finished.

"_WHAT?_" Link cried out. He was about to lunge upon the bird, his hand was already on the hilt of his sword, but the reincarnated sage flew away.

"God I hate that owl," Link muttered. "Now, back to... what _was_ I thinking about before? Oh well..."

He walked into the stables and sat himself upon the hay.

"What are you looking at?" Link snarled to the confused cow.

A few hours later, Link went to find Talon, Malon, and Ingo.

"How may I help you," Talon said.

"Thanks for your hospitality," Link said. "I would like to continue on my journey to explore the world now. I won't forget you."

Before Link reached the door, Malon cried out, "But Link, I haven't even gotten to show you everything yet. And... You'll..."

Malon seemed to be holding back tears. Why? Link didn't understand. He hadn't even known her for more than a day.

"At least... Can you stay the night? It's dangerous in the fields at night. All sorts of monsters come out."

Link tried to protest, saying that he could take care of himself.

But Ingo intervened. "She's right, boy. Stay. You can continue in the morning."

"Fine, fine," Link said. Talon beamed, and went off skipping.

* * *

Laying in the bed, Link thought... again. What a boring life it is without television... Oh wait, that was just a dream. It was an odd dream he had a long time ago about the future, where everyone had round ears, lived in huge flimsy houses with rooms for everything imaginable, and had advanced technology run by something called "electricity." Even now, eight years later, he still had not forgotten it. 

He tried to calm his breathing down. In and out, and in and out. The rythyms of the breathing. It reminded him of his heart. Listening as hard as he could, and making himself as quiet as possible, he couldn't hear anything. As much as Link hated to admit it, he kinda... missed Zelda. Despite how annoying he found her, she was still very easy to talk to. Pushing his thoughs aside, Link fell asleep.

TBC

* * *

So, Link misses "Zelda." Y'know, for someone that likes Malink better than Zelink, why did I make Link dislike Malon and like a "Zelda?" Sort of, anyway. I contradict myself often. 

Review! (please)


	10. Chapter 10

The Legend of Zelda: by Vladimir the Hamster

Thank you for your lovely reviews.

Crisis Haylo: Now that I think of it, what exactly is Zelda? I've come up with an idea, but... it's just so weird. I'm sure you must be thinking how can anything in this story get any weirder, but it's weird in a different way!

FanFictionFantom: Yeah, I do come off as strange. All my "friends" are trying to send me to an insane asylum... or something. But what do they know? Things make perfect sense inside this head of mine! Almost...

Koume: Your wait is over? I have the most fun writing Kaepora scenes. I like his theme song. Oo But y'know how he starts commenting on how much you've grown and stuff after Dodongo's Cavern and stuff... I find that disturbing and annoying. I hate it when people do that.

aguy: Aww, you didn't _have_ to review. I just put that there from habit. Still... Yet another person thinks me weird. (sigh) despite being constantly told this, I do find it a bit disheartening. Despite all my efforts to tell myself this is what makes me unique. Now I'm just depressing myself. I have to stop doing that.

Opia-fire: Lurk? Eh... getting old. But still fun! Lurk lurk... Glad the last chapter amused you.

Dez384: Thanks and your welcome! I read Tell-Tale Heart, too. Hmm... Maybe I was influenced by it, I wasn't thinking about it. As for Zora, I like Zora a lot, and I even came up with a theory on how it's possible for Zora and Hylia to have fertile children to further support RuLink... BUT, I think Saria deserves Link the most, despite the pedophile-like qualities of their relationship when Link grows up. Well... I think their's will be a doomed relationship. Sadly, I killed Saria for my fic, so they won't be together.For a Ruto story, read Opia-fire's "Transformation"

Greki: Thanks.

Bleh... I hate writer's block. Luckily, halfway through writing this chapter... well, actually, while--well, even I don't know exactly, but somehow so many ideas hit me at once and not only that, they fit into my original plot! Y'know, ideas never come when you need them to, but in this case, it didn't matter so much.

* * *

Chapter X 

Link did not sleep well.He tossed and turned all night, slamming several times into the walls. It was just one of those days... erm, nights. He got up, walked around the ranch several times, sprinted across the corral more times than he could count, started yelling like crazy, and took out his sword and did a million quick spin attacks in a row.

And to think he was exhausted less than 24 hours ago. It had to be the Lon Lon Milk. Or something.

"What's this ruckus? You'll wake everyone up!"

Link turned around and saw Ingo wearing his pajamas and sporting lazy eye.

"Kid, what d'you think you're doing?" Ingo scolded.

Link's face broke into a grin and he fell to the ground, laughing a deep belly laugh. Then he rolled over onto his back and looked at the moon.

"Answer me!"

Link continued to look at the moon, manic grin on his face.

"The kid's mental," Ingo muttered.

"Hey, I heard that," Link said. "But I'll answer you're question. I'm really hyper for some reason. I can't explain it."

"Stupid kid," Ingo said, and he grabbed Link by the collar and dragged him back to his room and forced him into bed. "Now, if you get out one more time, I swear I will tie you to the bed!"

"Touchy," Link said when the door closed.

* * *

"CUUUUUUUUUCCKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" 

"Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!"

Link shot straight up. He looked out the window. Figures the cucco would be perched on his windowsill. Luck was never on his side. He would have to give the cucco a lesson later. Not only did it crow right into his ear, it interrupted him from his sleep. And this morning, he was extremely tired. I mean, if you spent the night doing spin attacks in rapid succession while screaming your head off after running several laps around a ranch, wouldn't you be tired too?

Yep, that cucco was going to pay.

A few seconds later... Malon burst through Link's door.

"Good morning Link!"

Then she spotted Link's murderous glare at the cucco on the windowsill.

"Hey, Link,Niwatori was just doing its job. Don't hate him."

"Huh?"

"Cuccos crow in the morning to wake people up all the time. It's just the way it is."

Link nodded, but didn't really get it. He supposed Hylians followed some strict schedule everyday, but didn't understand why. The Kokiri simply got up whenever they wanted, did whatever they wanted, and that's just the way it was. Sure, they had jobs and stuff, but essentially everything was loose and free and stuff.

"So, you're leaving soon, right?"

Link suddenly remembered how sad Malon looked when he said he was leaving. Even though he didn't like Malon much, he didn't like to see anyone less than happy.

"Uh... I think I'll stay a bit longer," Link choked out.

Malon's face lit up like a beacon in the darkness. "Really? Oh, you really must see everything! About how we live here and all that stuff!"

"Huh?"

Malon grabbed Link by the wrist and led him off... everywhere.

* * *

'That was a very long day,' thought Link. Malon had taught him how they milked the cows, fed the chickens, how to ride a horse, cook, whistle, sing, where every hole in every building was, the names of all the animals, branding their cattle, errands they made to the castle, services they provide, play tag, play hopscotch, play rock paper scissors, making cheese, making butter... you get the point. It was very exhausting, especially for a poor "Fairy Boy" who just came out of the forest for the first time. 

Link stared at the moon, Malon athis side. One would think they were a happy couple, albeit a very young one. But the truth was that Link was only putting up with Malon's constant hugs and caresses and sweet talk because he was too tired to protest. Besides, with Malon's infinite amount of energy, he knew he would tire himself out before she would.

"Aw, Link. Isn't it pretty?" Malon said, eyelashes fluttering.

"Hn."

"I watch the moon all the time. It's always so pretty, the way it changes shape every day. And disappears. But it always comes back. I see it. And it always glitters."

"Malon?" Link said.

"What?"

"I know what the moon is like. I can see it in the Kokiri Forest and the Lost Woods, too."

Malon became annoyed, but regained her bubbly cheerfulness at once. "But it's so pretty, I just have to tell you about it."

"But..."

"I know! I'll sing for you! That's much better than me rambling about the moon," Malon interrupted. She immediately began singing Epona's Song.

_"Epona Epona soba ni oide  
Futari de ireba sabishiku nan ka nai  
Dakara Epona koko ni ite..."_

'Goddesses, doesn't she ever stop?' Link wondered. 'I'd much rather have Saria with me, even Zelda would do, even if she isn't real.'

Link listened to Malon sing. 'Still, she does have a good voice. It's what she does best, and if I don't listen to her, she might be hurt. And it is nice. The best singing I've ever heard, even.'

Link was about to tell Malon how beautiful her voice is (despite the risk of her getting even more attached to him) when a certain white-feathered creature crossed into his line of sight. And it's name was Niwatori.

"YOU!" Link suddenly shouted, standing up.

Malon stopped her singing in shock. "Link? What are you doing?"

Link made a beeline to the poor cucco. "I said I would have my revenge on you!" His hand touched the hilt of his sword...

Malon, realizing what Link was about to do, got up after him. She shouted, "NO! You mustn't! Attacking a cucco is like-"

But it was too late.

Link had slashed Niwatori once. Twice. Thrice.

Time seemed to freeze. Niwatori's head lifted up. Air filling it's lungs, it sent it through it's vocal cords. It had crowed, a long "Cuuuuckooooooooooo!" that his species were named for.

Time unfroze. From every direction, cuccos flew straight towards Link, all ready to avenge their fellow cucco from its offender.

"Link!"

"What is this?"

The cuccos attacked Link, pecking him with no mercy. Link tried to fight them, but it was no use. He only got hurt even more. He ran, as fast as he could.

Unfortunately for him, the cuccos flew faster than he could run.

That night, a scream was heard throughout Hyrule Field, a scream only matched only by the redeads.

TBC

* * *

There. My attempt at a cliffhanger! Poor Link, why must I torture him so? But it's his fault for attacking a cucco just because it woke him up! Link is a bit... off in the head, incase you can't tell. Either way, this chapter has been fun to write. Randomness is always fun.

Anyway, the lyrics to Epona's Song are from the Japanese vocal version or something... I dunno. Either way, I didn't make them up, and I don't own them.

Niwatori means chicken in Japanese, incase you were wondering.

Review? You know, I always feel like I'm begging whenever I write that, but I always do it anyway. WHY!


	11. Chapter 11

The Legend of Zelda: by Vladimir the Hamster

I've decided to stop acting so excited over reviews. But I still like them!

Koume: I don't have Nayru's Love! But I use Epona. Trample trample

FanFictionFantom: I couldn't resist cuccos, because like you said, they go a long way back.

GoldenSunGeek: Thank you! So happy you like insanity. Course, it's probably not the best thing in the world, but, hey, it's interesting!

Dez384:I don't think it's possible to kill a cucco. I wonder what will happen if someone did find a way to do it, though.

Astrid Poodle: You made toast? You mean like popcorn during a movie? Really? I'm honored. Eating is surely the truest sign of respect! or something... I love food.

Crisis Haylo: I learned the lyrics from Arxane's Ocarina of Time novelization, which really is a must read, even though by the time you finish reading it you're eyeballs will be fried from sheer length. It's not even finished yet! But really, it's great. Free advertising for him...

Sorry it took so long. But with allergies, Mother's Day, 2 vacations, and my birthday, Star Wars, Zelda trailer, 6 projects... there wasn't really much time.

* * *

Chapter XI 

"Oh, Dad, I hope Link's going to be alright," Malon sobbed into her father's belly.

The Lons were inside Hyrule's only hospital, where they had taken Link after he was attacked by the cuccos. They left Ingo to care for the ranch. The doctor had just informed them that Link was in a coma and it could be either hours or years before he woke up.

Malon wailed louder and louder.

"There there," Talon said. "It's not your fault. He didn't know any better. I mean, coming from the Lost Woods Link must've had to deal with a lot of monsters. How dangerous could a mere cucco be?"

"But I tried to... t-tell him! I could've tried harder! Like... Uuuuaaaaaaaaa!"

"Malon, it's his fault for not listening, or maybe he never heard you. Don't blame yourself for it."

Malon became angry at her father. It seemed like she was accusing Link! "Daddy, are you accusing Link?"

'No wonder they say love is blind,' Talon thought. "No, sweetie..."

* * *

"Ugh..." Link slowly opened his eyes. Colors blurred before him, and came to focus. Trees, flowers, rocks, birds chirping, and two glowing eyes staring at him from underneath a wide straw hat. Two inches from his face. 

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyah!"

"Woah, you scream like a girl!" Skull Kid said.

"Don't do that!"

"Sor-ree, it's not my fault. I saw you laying here and I came to investigate a little, so what?"

"Just, don't bend over me like that," Link shuddered.

"Fine, I'll leave you alone," And just like that, Skull Kid left.

And now Link was left alone in the middle of the Lost Woods with a massive headache, with no one to talk to.

Wait a second... How'd he get there anyway? Wasn't he... Link tried to remember. What happened after he left the place? Oh yes, Lon Lon Ranch, and then those evil cuccos. Who knew they were so deadly? And then, somehow, from there, he was here? That's not right. Hylians can't enter the Lost Woods.

'But then again, Kokiri can't leave,' Link mused.

Then he looked around a bit. Maybe he could find his way back to his house. Maybe, he could even go back to the Kokiri Forest. What could Mido do to him?

Huh? This place looked familiar. Link stared up at the tree he was leaning against.

"Oh my Goddesses!" he exclaimed. That was the same tree that he had gotten rid of Zelda at! How on earth did Malon or whoever get him back here?

The headache returned.

_Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum..._

"ZELDA!"

_Hi, Link. Didja miss me?_

"Zelda? Holy crap, is it really you? Where are you?"

_Right here. Look up._

Link did, and right in front of him... was a very pretty girl, dressed in a pink and white dress. Her hair was tucked away into a weird looking headress type thing with those three triangle things embellished in the front.

"Shit, it's you!"

_Link, watch the language._

"Sorry, I'm just way too excited. After hanging around with that overly bubbly hyperactive Malon girl, I realized how much I missed you. I even dreamed about you and everything!"

_You did?_

Zelda seemed to blush. Rather odd, seeing you're own heart not take the form of a princess outside of your body,and blush at your comment.

'Woah, that can't be normal. Why didn't I ever realize this before?' Link thought. But he figured he'd go along with it anyway.

_Let me guess. You've just realized the obsurdity of your situation. But having nothing better to do, you'll just go along with it._

"How'd you read my mind like that?"

_I'm part of you. I know you're mind._

"Then how come I don't know what's going on in yours?"

_How should I know? I didn't invent this stuff, you know!_

"Why are you so freaky?"

_What do you mean? Aren't you the one that's seeing me?_

"I suppose... Hey, what's with those three triangle things. I think I've seen it somewhere before."

_Oh, that, it's a long story. I'll tell you in a more comfortable place._

With that, Zelda snapped her fingers. She and Link whirled into the sky, and within seconds, landed in two comfortable lawn chairs overlooking a vast shimmering lake.

"Woah! How'd you do that?"

_Magic. Now, where were we? Oh yes, the "Three Triangle Things" as you so articulately put it._

"Wait, before we start, could you please tell us where we are?"

_Lake Hylia. And before I was so very _rudely interupted_... Just so you know, it's called a Triforce..._

Zelda started telling Link about the Creation Legend about the three Goddesses descending on Hyrule and creating life and whatnot. Basic Hylian knowledge, basically.

As she told the story, even though it was such a very boring story, Link thought Zelda was such a wonderful storyteller that he couldn't help feeling a bit... attracted to her. The soft, friendly, eyes, filled with wisdom, the way the little hair that escaped her headress fell over her face in the most perfect curls, and... well, she had a lot of clothes on, so couldn't judge there. But Link still fantasized about many things that will be censored if I type it all out unless I up the rating to M.

_So, long story short, the Goddesses made Hyrule the way it is now and left us Their Sacred Relic, the Triforce._

"Huh?"

_Do you ever pay attention?_

Link smiled sheepishly.

_Come on, let's go for a walk..._

TBC

* * *

Yes, Zelda's back! Rejoice with me! Anyway, sorry about how bad this chapter was.At least I think it's bad.Anyway, hopefully I'll manage to get _good _Zelink in here somehow... I doubt it, but hey, it's worth a try!

Heh heh Zelda: TP for Toilet Paper. XP

And to all my readers, May the Triforce be with you!


	12. Chapter 12

The Legend of Zelda: by Vladimir the Hamster

Exactly 50 Reviews!Thanks so much! Is it fair to ask for another 50? XD Anyway, to business...

E1pvn: Thanks. You make me feel good

FanFictionFantom: I was feeling horny when I wrote the chapter... >.

Koume: Glad you liked it. Don't be mad, get glad! Corny joke.

harrypotterfan: Glad you liked it too.

Opia-fire: Either way you look at it, my version of Zelink is original. Anyway, I wonder what it's like to fall in love with one of your vital organs...?

GoldenSunGeek: Nothing wrong with Star Wars... Actually, I'm not much of a Star Wars fan... not really. It's interesting, but I like other stuff more. (in denial)

Dez384: Or maybe the cucco is like a concentrated cockroach. Decapitate it and it will live on. Ever hear the (true) story of that headless chicken that lived for 18 months? It's creepy, I tell you! Oh yeah, I found out that in Link's Awakening, if you put magic powder on a cucco, it will shrivel up and die. Or so I've heard... Anyway, about that idea with meeting the real Zelda... Hmm... interesting...

I HATE Writer's Block! Coupled with the recent death of my pet bird, GooGoo, a flute and piano auditions, lots of parties for way too many occassions,ARGH! Writing the next chapter has been SO hard... You'd think with summer vacation FINALLY here writing would be easier, but Noooooooo...

Anyway, since I was overdue for another chapter and couldn't think of anything, I wrote a sort of side chapter from the owl's (yes, the OWL) POV. A bit of history, clear things up a bit... And basically me writing SOMETHING, ANYTHING... to keep me busy. It ended up so long, that I decided to make them two separate chapters, mostly because they were about two different things.

Then, I was going to post it both at the same time, and then when I reread the second one, I realized that it was a giant contradiction with the rest of my story. So I have to rewrite it, and come up some other thing, thus I can only give you this chapter.

Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter XII 

Kaepora Gaebora frequently visited Hyrule Castle Hospital. He figured it was a good way to keep up with any bad happenings in the kingdom.

Tonight just happened to be his scheduled day for a visit. Link would be fine without him for a few days...

As inconspicuously as he could Kaepora flew inside the hospital. If he was caught, Oh! think of how many people would try to capture him, make him some kind of attraction. Even worse, force him into a petting zoo. It's not everyday you meet a wise talking owl.

So anyway, on his way there, he saw two people leaving the hospital, one was sobbing uncontrollably. He focused his eyes, and saw that the two were Malon and Talon!

What were they doing here?

"It's okay Malon. Get a hold of yourself! There's nothing you could've done."

"But I..."

"Malon," Talon said in a stern voice, "We've been through this enough times. Link attacking a cucco is his OWN fault, not yours."

Kaepora followed them home from the sky as they were in their cart.

_'This is just great. I leave Link for a few hours, and he goes and gets himself killed by a cucco! Just great. I mean, can't the kid take care of himself? _Why _didn't the Great Deku Tree give him a fairy. I have enough work to do!'_

Finally, the Lons reach their ranch.They entered their house, talked to Ingo a bit, and then the lights turned off.

The reincarnated sage perched on the gate, wondering how to best approach the situation. With Link... it was easier, he grew up in the _Lost Woods,_ strange things happen there all the time.

But a talking owl randomly visiting an average _Hylian_ family... Kaepora Gaebora was reminded of the petting zoo.

_'Think positive,'_ he told himself, _'Think positive.'_

He decided the best way was just to get to the point. Kaepora swooped down outside the house, and rang the doorbell as best as his talons would let him.

Muffled footsteps could be heard and soon enough, Talon opened the door.

"What in tarnation?" he exclaimed when he saw Kaepora. "What's an owl doing here?" Talon eyed Kaepora Gaebora suspiciously.

Kaepora had to admit, though, the look on Talon's face was priceless, especially when he started to speak.

"Excuse me, Mr. Lon, but I have recently discovered that my, er, charge, is currently in the hospital, in a very deep coma. I would like to know why you have let this happen, or I will sue you for 3 million rupees... and a horse of my choice."

After the initial shock, Talon just stared. Then he slowly backed away. His hand started reaching towards the crossbow hanging on the wall...

"I told you I should've warned him, daddy."

Talon jumped nearly three feet in the air. "Malon! Don't do that!"

"But noooooooo, you said it was his fault. Why would it be Link's fault if he never knew?"

"Malon..."

"And now some freak owl is going to sue. I knew you shouldn't breed Super Cuccos, they've gone and hired bigger birds and decided to take things political as well as mauling their offenders..."

"You're starting to scare me, kid."

Kaepora Gaebora cleared his throat loudly. "As a bird of prey, I'm finding it hard to stand on the ground with my curved talons, and simply wanted to get to the point.

But it seems that you need an explanation. And it was rude of me not to introduce myself to you. I apologize."

"I thought you wanted to get to the point?" Ingo had come out, sporting lazy eye.

"Alright already!" Kaepora remarked. "Is it so wrong to want to give an explanation? My word,seriously! Anyway, back to what I wanted to say.

My name is Kaepora Gaebora. I am a reincarnated sage from the ancient times. I don't know what I've done wrong to become an owl, but that's beside the point. Anyway, I have been a long time friend of the Great Deku Tree, a minor deity residing in the Lost Woods, who also created the Kokiri. They live in the Kokiri Forest, a separate area from the Lost Woods that are less dangerous.

Kokiri are an eternal forest children, and each is assigned their own fairy. Now, Link doesn't have his own fairy, being Hylian and all-"

"Link's Hylian?" Talon interrupted.

"Yes he is. And when he was about 10, he got banished from the village because of something to do with Mido not liking him because of Jealousy and whatnot, and probably some racism too. I'm not too clear on exactly what happened, but the kid got himself banished, and for three years I've watched over him.

And I've heard that he got himself mauled by cuccos, and I would like to know WHY."

There was a stunned silence.

"I knew there was something wrong with that boy," Ingo said.

Malon was off in her own little world. Link, Hylian? That was a great thing! There was still a chance for them to be together... but Link didn't like her at all. She could tell...

"So, did you understand all that? Yes or no." Kaepora said.

Malon broke off, and said, "Huh?"

"My name is Kaepora Gaebora. I am a reincarnated sage from the ancient times. I don't know what I've done wrong to become an owl, but that's beside the point. Anyway, I have been a long time friend of the Great Deku Tree, a minor deity residing in the Lost Woods, who also created the Kokiri. They live in the Kokiri Forest, a separate area from the Lost Woods that are less dangerous.

Kokiri are an eternal forest children, and each is assigned their own fairy. Now, Link doesn't have his own fairy, being Hylian and all, and when he was about 10, he got banished from the village because of something to do with Mido not liking him because of Jealousy and whatnot, and probably some racism too. I'm not too clear on exactly what happened, but the kid got himself banished, and for three years I've watched over him.

And I've heard that he got himself mauled by cuccos, and I would like to know WHY.

So, did you understand all that? Yes or no."

"Because Link was pissed at Niwatori for waking him up early in the morning, and took his revenge. Didn't you say all that before?" Malon asked.

Ingo had a vein throbbing in his temple. This owl is annoying!

"Ah, so Link was being reckless as usual. Some so called idiots say he's 'courageous' and I'll admit that he is, but sometimes, he just doesn't think.

Anyway," Kaepora said, "What's up with him now, how is he? Dead or alive, condition?"

Snoring was heard. Talon had fallen asleep.

Ingo's vein throbbed harder.

"If I tell you if you GO AWAY!" Ingo roared.

Talon snored still louder.

"Oooh, touchy." the owl replied.

Ingo took the crossbow from Talon.

"Ah, you're serious."

"Of course I am! Now, he's in a coma, okay, now GO AWAY!"

Kaepora flipped his head. "Coma, eh? Alrighty, thanks for the help. And tell Malon that Link is not her boyfriend."

As he flew off, Malon grabbed the crossbow, fitted an arrow in, and shot at the reincarnated sage as he flew off.

And unfortunately, missed.

TBC

* * *

Next chapter: Malon  
The chapter after that: LinkxZelda fluff! Finally! (I figure that if I promise that I'll write it, I have no choice but to do so.) 


	13. Chapter 13

The Legend of Zelda: by Vladimir the Hamster

Thanks people! I love your reviews!

FanFictionFantom: Zelda-the-Organ fluff. Sheesh, it never sounded this wrong before. Good thing I rated this fic T, then, right?

firedemon753: Hello aguy! I dunno, I kinda got attached to that name... Silly me. Good thing to know my writing's getting better.

Crisis Haylo: I like Malink better than Zelink. I like Sarlink better than Zelink. And yet I like writing Zelink. Life's sucks, doesn't it?

Koume: Annoying owls are as annoying owls is. um, I don't think I got that right... erm, well. As long as you're happy, I'm happy.

GoldenSunGeek: I see you've missed the part about me being in denial. I just spent my weekend watching the original SW Trilogy... all in a row. for hours and hours. Don't see many non-Star Wars fans doing THAT now, do you?

Link: The whole OoT game? But this isn't a novelization... Unless you meant everyone and everyplace, then yes, they'll be in it... eventually, if all goes well... Maybe not in the way you thought it would be, but everyone will get mentioned if possible. Not entirely sure, though.

E1pnvn: Thanks for thinking about GooGoo. It's okay now, he was 22. He's lived a long happy life. Besides, he's one curious fellow. I'm sure his spirit is off exploring the whole universe right now. (took me a long time to get over GooGoo's death though.)

Atchika: Thank you! Man, I was hoping this would be good enough to get into a C2! (dances for joy) ... (HUGS!)

A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long! You'd think summer would enable me to write more. But you see, I was trying to write a (pointless) chapter about Malon because of the note in the last chapter, but I couldn't think of anything. Well, I did, but I couldn't figure out how to write it. And I soooo wanted to get to the fluff.

Though it did turn out much different than what I had expected...

Well, on with it!

* * *

Chapter XIII 

"So, uh... Zelda, what'll we do with the chairs?"

_I've packed them into my secret back pocket. No worries, anything you need, I've got it._

Link and Zelda were on their walk through Hyrule. Flowers bloomed. Birds sang. THe sun was shining cheerfully over the clearest blue sky while fluffy white clouds floated overhead in the shape of bunnies. Just your typical disgustingly mushy romance scenery.

_What's WITH THIS? _Zelda exclaimed. _It's so disgusting! BRING ON THE RAIN!_

Instantly, dark storm clouds gathered, lightning flashed, rain poured out from the heavens as if the Goddesses decided to dump the ocean upon the land.

_Ah, much better._ Zelda's face broke out into a smile. _So, where to, Link?_

Link blinked. "Why are you so freaky?"

_ANSWER MY QUESTION OR DIE!_

Link rolled his eyes. Zelda was the same as ever. "How should I know? I've never really explored Hyrule before. You take us somewhere. And what's with the setting? How gloomy! Not romantic at all! I liked it better all cheery and happy."

Zelda slapped Link. Hard. So hard, Link actually flew back a few paces.

"Ow!" remarked Link, rubbing his cheek. "What the hell was that for?"

_You disagreed with me. _

_The rain is peaceful. Don't you like it? It's like soft music. Pitter patter. It's calming._

_Rain is quite misunderstood. People shun it, connotate it with negative feelings. My father used to lock me inside the castle whenever it rained. "You'll catch pneumonia!" he always used to say... But I love it._

Zelda held back her head and arms open wide embraced the torrent of rain.

Link relaxed a bit and joined in.

They stood there listening to the rain silently for a few minutes, neither moving at all. Just content to be with the other.

"Zelda?" Link asked suddenly, "You told me about your father. But if you're a part of me, how do you have a father. Do you know my parents? Y'know, like hidden away in some deep dark memory of mine."

Zelda was shaken. Her head dropped down and her eyes looked to the bottom-right. She held her hand to her mouth and her face turned a light shade of pink.

_Well..._

Zelda looked up, and the rain stopped.

It was obvious that Zelda was uncomfortable with the question, so Link pressed no further. He took her into his arms.

_Oh Look! The sky! It's almost sunset! Let's hurry to the top of Death Mountain so we can watch!_

'Well, she sure recovers quickly,' thought Link.

They ran up the field.

_C'mon, Link! Hurry up you slowpoke!_

They made it. Puffing and wheezing, out of breath, ripe to collapse, but they made it. Struggling, they tried to hold the other up as the sky blazened with firey reds slowly fading. The clouds danced purple and pink and orange, shafts of light piercing through.The darkness of night gradually surpressed the light. The sun gave one final bright pink glare before sinking down to complete it's journey through the underworld. Soon the sky was a velvety black blanket, with pinpricks of light poking through. The moon, round and glowing, rose up slowly to watch Hyrule during the night.

A wolf howled in the distance.

Link and Zelda slept under the stars that night, holding each other in the other's arms.

It began to rain.

TBC

* * *

Dear God, I hope I did that okay. It's a bit short, but eh... It turned out way different than what I expected it to be. Was I overly descriptive in the sunset part? Or was it just right? Did you think it was a little too rushed? Anything else you think I could've done better with or don't need?

Sorry for all the questions, but y'know. I appreciate feedback. You don't have to answer all of them if you don't want to.

Review! See ya next chapter!


	14. Chapter 14

The Legend of Zelda: by Vladimir the Hamster

Yay for review replies! No more typing them all out and making my author notes extra long! w00t!

Sorry for the delay! School Evil time consumer!

TLOZ is over one year old! Gah! And Halloween was a blast I tell ya! Giant goomba costumes are always fun! Too bad it's almost Christmas and this chapter came way too late!

On with the fic! and end with the overexcitedness!

* * *

Chapter XIV

The wind blew through Malon's long red locks as she flew across the field on her horse, Eachann. Her mother, Epona, couldn't watch her. A new foal was soon to be born; she had to help with the birthing.

Though Malon new this in the back of her mind, she was still upset that her mom wasn't there. She so wanted to show her howmuch she had improved! Ill thoughts directed towards her mother galloped through her mind...

A sharp, sudden _GRAAACK_ of pain tore through Malon's eardrums. Wondering what on earth it could be, Malon slowed her horse and looked back. A badly injured cucco lay upon the ground, wings barely flapping.

Malon's eyes widened. Stories passed down from generation to generation told of an ancient, secret organization of the cuccos who would mutilate any who hurt their fellow brethren to avenge them, known only as "The Cucco Mafia". Malon scoffed at this story in the past, but seeing the deadly glint in the fallen cucco's eyes, she doubted herself...

A deafening "Cluck cluck" emanated from the vocal chords of the cucco. Time seemed to freeze.

A quiet roar of flapping wings crescended into a forte, when hundreds upon hundreds of white feathers cascaded seemingly from nowhere out of the sky, and charged straight at Malon and Eachann.

Malon, only six, did the only thing that one of her age, (and any age at that matter,) would do, and ran as fast as she could.

Right before the cuccos could reach her and peck her to her death, Epona, Malon's mother, jumped between the cucco onslaught and her precious daughter.

Flesh was torn and blood was splattered, as The Cucco Mafia devoured Epona in front of Malon's eyes. Once only the bones remained, they left.

Shocked to the core, Malon could not cry for her mother. Several minutes she stood there, before tears streamed down her cheeks. Malon ran to the stables and collapsed. At that moment, the young filly was born, and Malon was the first thing she saw...

TBC

* * *

Just wondering... Is crescended a word? if not... oh well, I invented a new word! Muahaha! If you couldn't tell, this was a short flashback depicting a chapter of Malon's life. It was the one I was going to write before the last chapter, but I had no inspiration. Take a good guess who the filly is. I'll give you a cookie... 


	15. Chapter 15

The Legend of Zelda: by Vladimir the Hamster

Chapter XV 

_Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum..._

The familiar pulsating thumping... That sound hadn't been heard by Link in awhile. He missed its soothing nature.

_Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum..._

It was like a soft lullaby. A smile curled on Link's face. Warm fuzzy feelings spread through his body. All worries flitted through the top of his head.

_Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum..._

Pure relaxation, that's what this was. Even the rocky ground beneath him felt soft and cushy. The cold wind seemed to sing. And the sun...

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" Link shot up straight from the ground. The sun suddenly came up from nowhere and light rays shot straight into his eyes. _His_ eyes, why not someone else's eyes? Link started cursing at the sun all while squinting. It was a while before he heard the manic laughter coming from the mouth of a certain someone.

"ZELDA!" Link exclaimed.

_Oh sorry, I really couldn't resist. AHaahahaHAhaha... oh man, priceless!_

"You're not helping, you know."

_Hmph, can't I have a bit of fun? Hey, since we're at Death Mountain, why don't we go visit the Gorons?_

"Go-rons?" Link asked, with a slight cock of the head and very confused eyes.

_Rock people, geez, don't you know anything? _Zelda scoffed. Eye rolling was involved. _Now come on!_

So down the mountain they went, which was much easier than the great rush to the top.

_Now I don't know exactly where we're going, but D- someone told me the Gorons lived in a cave somewhere... Ah! Look at this!_

A sign with the words, "Goron City" pointed toward a long winding path.

_Shouldn't be too long of a hike._

Link looked at Zelda slanty-eyed. But alas, what can you do when killing said maniac results in your own death? As usual, wrists were grabbed and bellies met the floor as an unhuman strength dragged Link all the way to the entrance of Goron City.

A dark cave lay before them, but instead of the usual dark and cold air, a warm breeze drifted from within, and awelcomingbanner emblazoned with the Goron symbol hung over it. Reassured, the two stepped in.

A gasp emmitted from Link's mouth. Torches lit up a colossal city dug directly into Death Mountain. Levels as deep and as high as the eye could see, smaller caves were carved into the sides of the walls, and tunnels snaking their way around in and out could just be made out. Even though the rock was dry, odd, black and spherical plants grew everywhere. Paintings depicting legends of ancient Goron heroes and the simple things of life marked the walls. And from deep in the center of Goron City, a lively tribal music amplified so that it could be heard by all.

"Wow."

_Don't you wish you had known me before to show you all these cool things? _

Link had already made his way down to the center of the city, eager to meet the Gorons.

_Hey! Wait!_

Zelda finally caught up to Link. _I though I was supposed to be the one dragging you places._

"C'mon, Zel, this place is awesome."

_You can't just waltz up to a Goron..._

"Who are you?" a booming voice said.

"Aaaargh!" A huge Goron towering nearly six feet tall, with bulging muscles and wild white hair loomed over Link.

"Aaaargh!" Link screamed again.

The Goron chuckled in a deep, booming voice. "Ohohoho, you're so cute! I think I'll make you my new pet."

"Aaaargh!" Link really screamed this time.

"Yes, it's a good idea. My name is Darunia. What is your name?"

Link refused to talk. No, he couldn't. His face was frozen in fear.

"Oh? Well, from now on I'll call you... Snooglepuffers! How d'ya like that one? It fits you so well..." Darunia now proceeded to hug "Snooglepuffers" in his best and tightest Goron Hug, nearly crushing the comparatively delicate frame of a Link.

_Don't crush Link you meanie Goron! _

Zelda slapped Darunia with surprising force, sending him flying across the room, crashing into the other Gorons, which sent them flying into the wall. The dust in the room flew all about.

"Oww... Geroff me!" Link's voice was heard.

_ Huh? _It seems that in her fury, Zelda had not only sent the Gorons flying, but they also all happened to topple right on top of-

-_LINK! Oh no! I'm sorry, are you okay? I didn't mean to..._

Zelda proceeded to pull off the Gorons, one by one, flinging them off into the air.

"Ughhh..." A crumpled heap was all that's left of Link.

Zelda slowly helped Link get up, until he was upright again. They turned around.

The big mighty Gorons were all backed behind their leader Darunia, who was also quaking in fear.

"Who are you, woman?" Darunia barely said, adressing Zelda as woman despite her being barely a teenager yet.

_Princess Zelda! Also known as the manifestation of Link's beating heart. It's a long story. Even I'm not entirely sure what I am._

"Princess Zelda?" Darunia scoffed. "She is dead! She has died but a few weeks ago. You cannot be her!"

"Dead?" Link exclaimed. What could that mean? Zelda was right there in front of him.

Wait... he first met Zelda but a few weeks ago, soon after the death of Saria... Link's eyes widened in shock. He looked at Zelda. She looked slightly bewildered.

_I... I don't know what you mean! What are you saying?_

Zelda balled up into a corner. She started beating her fists around, screeching._  
_

_No! No!_ _You tell me lies! I'm right here! I'm... I'm alive!_

"Zelda...?" Link cautiously approached her.

_Don't touch me!_

Link's hand snapped back. He was worried.

Even Darunia softened. "Hey, do you want something to eat? I know you can't eat rocks, but we will try to provide you with your kind of food...just ask... please?"

_No! No no no no no nonononono..._

"Zelda?" cried Link.

"Zelda!" cried Darunia.

"Zelda! Zelda! Zelda!" all the Gorons cried.

_Ba-..._

Link and Zelda collapsed.

* * *

Sorry for the delay. I was trying too hard to have this chapter make sense, but I couldn't think of anything. After long hours of torment I decided to write whatever came into my head... and there you go. Surprisingly, I love this chapter. It's got everything I love about this story, and actually helped the plot along at the same time, without screwing it off track towards my ultimate goal. (yes, I do know what's going to happen next, believe it or not). o.0 I can tell you that doesn't happen very often. Although you readers should know that already. xP 

Either way, that was fun. xD I think I've been watching too much FLCL. Or should I be thanking it...?


	16. Chapter 16

The Legend of Zelda: by Vladimir the Hamster

Blergh! I'm sorry. I keep doing this, updating later than I plan too...I'm sorry for saying that I'm sorry because it keeps happening. I hope you like this chapter.

* * *

Chapter XVI 

Two eyes blinked in the darkness of the room. Something was not right. Malon was unusually aware of the thumping of her heartbeat as sweat threatened to pour out through her pores She slowly pushed herself up with her hands, letting the blanket tumble as she moved. She listened for any sound in the darkness; her eyes strained for even the slightest movement.

She looked to the dresser in front of her bed. She looked to the fading wallpaper peeling to the left of her. She looked at the table, the chairs.

Nothing. Nothing except the metronome-like chirping of crickets outside. Still, intuition told the redhead all was not well...

_Tkk_

Malon let out a startled yelp, but quickly stifled it with her blanket. What was that?

_Tkk_

Louder this time. She kept as quiet as possible.

_Tkk_

Again. Malon's hand slowly reached for a large wooden club she kept hidden underneath her bed.

_Tkk_

She crept over and gingerly unlatched the window, large stick in left hand. She swung with all her might!

An agonizing screech pierced the silence.

'_The hell was _that Malon thought, sweat on her brow. She peered over the window. A large feathery thing lay crumpled two stories down in the ground. It started thrashing, squawking as it spun around. As the redhead watched, she realized, to her horror, that the thing was Kaepora Gaebora.

Kaepora Gaebora had finally righted himself and soared into Malon's room -- nearly crushing her in the process -- with a grace most unlike one who had just crash-landed headfirst into the ground. The ancient sage's round eyes snapped onto the very flustered cowgirl "You mad cowgirl, you... you! Don't do that!"

"_You_ don't do that!", Malon countere, now florid in the face.

"Look, missy, I have to tell you something very important, and-"

"Don't you call me missy. I thought I-"

"Let me f-"

"you ne-"

"what I wa-"

"Com"

"SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED TO LINK!"

"Ba-WHAT?"

"Exactly! Now come with me. This is URGENT!" With that the owl snatched Malon and flew off.

Malon opened her eyes.

She was flying! She had left behind all her troubles on the ground. It was such exhiliration, what a rush! She looked down, and seeing herself up so high, she felt a little woozy, and closed her eyes again. She dangled from the owl and let the wind whip through her hair and face, which seemed to blow away all her troubles.

But soon they landed, and all the troubles they left behind came back. Such a short moment of bliss...

But Malon brought herself back reluctantly. "Link!" She let herself go. "What happened to him? What could've happened? He's in the hospital..."

Kaepora Gaebora cast his eyes down somberly. He spoke slowly. "It is best if go inside. Inquire about Link. Take as much time as you want. When you are ready, come back here and I will take you home. Do you understand?"

Malon nodded. No further words were needed. Full of dread, she walked around the stark white building and entered through the large glass double doors The entrance hall was unusually large, the people unusually tall. Malon had never quite realized quite how sterile hospitals were.

Malon reached the front desk. A clerk, adorned with light-blue hair and glasses, gazed at the her. In a false, almost sickeningly sweet voice, she asked, "May I help you?"

Malon asked about Link, but before the clerk could open her mouth, Malon stopped her: "Please, I don't care. Just bring me to him."

By now she had cracked. Tears streamed down her face from the stress caused from holding down her emotions.

The clerk called one of the nurses, who led Malon through the twisting, chaotic corridors of the hospital. They dodged through frantic doctors wheeling patients on gurneys, a dazzled looking old man, until finally the reached a door on the third floor.

"Well, here he is." said the Nurse.

Malon walked into the ward.

* * *

I haven't been to a hospital in a long time, so sorry if you know them better and can point out all the inaccuracies and stuff.  
Well, hopefully this is nearing its end, but I'm still trying to figure out what to do about Link, Zelda, and fit Saria in there, AND Malon, and all that other good stuff, and have it make sense... and maybe when I figure things out there will be more chapters than planned. 

Well, see ya next update.


	17. Chapter 17

The Legend of Zelda: by Vladimir the Hamster

I'm not dead! Yeah, I know it's been forever. Sorry. Anyway, I figured if I don't at least get the first half of the chapter out, it'll never be posted... so I cut it in half.  
Anyway, thank you all for having stayed with me this far. I deeply appreciate it. And any newcomers, welcome (even though by the time you get here I doubt you'll be a "newcomer" anymore)! Enjoy! (and if no one reviews, I'll be sad...)

* * *

Chapter XVII 

Link bolted upright, and his senses were immediately overloaded with what was the greatest feeling he had ever experienced. Gold everywhere. Not tacky gold either. Nice gold. Beautiful gold. Gold that makes you realize exactly why people like gold so much anyway, but even better than that. And not just visually. It seemed everything was golden. It smelled like gold. It tasted like gold. It felt like gold. It even sounded like gold.

Simply... golden. Of an unexplainable serenity. Link was content to simply sit and relax forever.

But then a slight shuffling...

"Hrm?" Link snapped out of his lucid state and saw Zelda, lying in a rumpled heap a few ways beside him. "Zelda...?" He poked her.

Zelda jerked and scuttled away, not showing her face. "Ergh!"

"Zelda? You okay?" Link asked, but Zelda only scuttled faster. "Hey, Zel, where you going?"

And she stopped.

"I've been running. Running running running... running until I finally forgot who I was." Zelda sat down. "But now that we're here, I think it's time to stop running, huh?"

She smiled. Link smiled.

"So, I guess you're not actually my heart right?"

"That's right."

"So I'm not a crazy psycho? Joy!" Link danced around. Zelda laughed. "But why did you pretend to be my heart?"

"I guess, I didn't want to be myself anymore. I was running away from the stifling atmosphere of being a princess. Of my responsibilities. I didn't like being stuck inside with all these rules. To restraining. So I guess I just wanted to be someone else for a change. Someone who lived a life far different from mine."

"So you chose me, a wild boy in the forest, and pretended to be a bodily organ? You're the weirdest princess I've ever met."

"I wasn't aware you've met other princess," Zelda grinned. "But I guess it's because you're so innocent and vulnerable." Zelda pinched Link's cheeks. Painfully. Link squealed. Zelda laughed.

"By the way, where the hell are we?"

Indeed. There was not a place the two knew of that was serene and full of gold, other than...

"Zelda, I think we're dead."

* * *

Malon sat by Link's side, talking in soft mumbles. But suddenly it was oddly silent, uneasy. Her hand twitched involuntarily. "Link?" 

There was no response.

"No." A tear slowly rolled down Malon's face. Her hand lightly touched Link's. "No."

* * *

"Dead. We're dead." Link and Zelda sat in a golden pool in shock. "Y'know, I never imagined that we would die like this." 

Suddenly an even more golden light, impossible as it may seem, shone from the golden sky. It's an interesting thing being dead. You get to see all those other parts of the light spectrum previously not visible... except that our souls are such a low life form that we can't comprehend it and end up seeing gold anyway... But that has nothing to do with the story, not to mention that neither of the dead ones had noticed any change whatsoever.

Zelda shifted uneasily closer towards Link. "Dead," she said. "Dead." As Link turned to respond she pressed her lips firmly on his. Links eyes opened in shock as he felt Zelda's tongue slowly make its way into his mouth... it tasted rather nice...Fingers crawled up Zelda's back, in a gentle yet teasing caress. Link felt her press against his body tighter as a tingling sensation shot up his spine...

"Eww, not in front of me!" The golden light materialized into the shape of a young girl. Zelda and Link's eyes widened in shock.

"Saria?"

* * *

w00t! evil cliffie! x3

Anyway, feedback. I originally planned for this to be the last or second to last chapter (which is why it took me so long to write; I wasn't sure how to create the best ending) but all the same, now there's plenty of room for more material. Most especially, are there any loose ends you would like answered that I have forgotten to cover?

I do want to bring this to an end soon, though, so nothing too epic, please. lol. 'Till next time!


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